Is your wife doing a behavior that you don’t approve of? Does she pull you around? Do you feel that you can’t control her? Is it hard to take items pretty things away from her without being bitten (not literally of course)? To solve all the symptoms, we must get to the root of the matter. Your wife is most likely thinking that she is the pack leader, or at least she is confused about who is the pack leader. When you claim leadership, the wife is free and content to be a happy willing follower. 1. Good Reasons to be a Pack Leader
•Your wife will remain well-behaved, even around other women who may or may not be.
•Your wife will learn to respect your possessions.
•Reduces constant barking nagging or whining.
•Your wife will be less anxious and nervous.
•Your wife will be happier and more contented.
2. Learn to Think like a Woman
•Realize that there are some areas where women do think like men, and some areas where they do not. This is important because often men will reinforce negative behavior without knowing it.
•Realize that women live in the present much more than men do. Just because a woman has done something for a while, doesn’t mean that she can’t change. In the same way, just because a woman has had a tough upbringing, or might have been abused, doesn’t mean that she can’t be rehabilitated into a loving, calm wife.
•Women do not have guilt or pity in their mindsets/thinking. If a man expresses these emotions, a woman will interpret them as weakness. Women can be given affection without being touched. A look can also convey affection.
•Women have different levels of excitability that they progress through. A problem woman that goes into a frenzy in certain situations cannot be corrected when she has reached her highest level of intensity. You must correct at the lower levels to prevent her from becoming out of control.
3. Learn the Pack Mentality
•Women have a pack mentality (or herd mentality). If you have a wife, you are a member of the same pack that she is.
•If a husband shows weakness when he first brings her into his pack, the wife will often try to become the pack leader herself.
•There will always be a pack leader. If you make sure that it is you, then you’ll be able to control your wife in any situation because they will look to you to see how they should react.
•A woman will try to become the pack leader if no one else is.
•Consider women in a pack (think women and their girlfriend cliques; think how one woman in that group always tends to be the leader and the other women follow whatever she does). Women are happier when they know their place in the pack. Your wife will be more content and happy when you consistently behave like a pack leader. If you allow your wife to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader in other
areas, you will frustrate your wife. A pack leader …
•Decides where the pack will go.
•Decides when the pack will eat.
•Decides who gets what food.
•Decides who is allowed to bark whine and when (if at all).
•Decides when the pack is allowed to play (decides when to separate business from pleasure).
•Decides what the pack is allowed to play with (decides who are appropriate friends that will exert good influences).
•Decides how other members of the pack must behave (decides how the family should behave).
•Decides who owns what.
•The rest of the pack is not resentful of how this works. To them, it is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when relating to your wife), your wife will be content because her pack is working the way her instincts say it should.
•When pack leaders correct children in their pack, they are rarely aggressive, but just assertive. Men must learn this combination of calm assertiveness to master their role as the pack leader
4. Be Calm and Assertive When Dealing with Your Wife
•Assertive is different than aggressive. If your wife knows voice commands, use them:
•Only in firm tones.
•Don’t use a high-pitched voice.
•Don’t speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby.
•Do not speak in anger.
•Don’t say it as if you are asking the wife a question.
•If you give a command and you know your wife is purposefully ignoring you, stop giving the command, you’re just making it worse.
•If you have seen Star Wars, the “Jedi mind trick” is a good example of calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and calmness of the tone of voice.
5. Be the Pack Leader
•A less dominant man can become the leader of many much larger and stronger women. It is a matter of attitude, not physical power or strength. Ways you can convey to your wife that you are the pack leader:
•Exit the house first when you go out. Enter first when you go in.
•Sit at the head of the table.
•Let your wife know what behaviors you, as the pack leader, don’t like.
•Be consistent to correct any behavior that you don’t want. Your wife will be confused if sometimes you correct her, and sometimes you don’t.
Other Tips
•Be assertive, but not aggressive.
•Do not yell at your wife. If you think you have to, you are doing something wrong.
•Share affection as much as you want, but only when your wife is in a calm, submissive state of mind.
•Women usually want to please men. Be consistent, so they understand what you expect of them.
•Be consistent. It will help your wife learn more quickly, and help them to trust you.